7 Rules for Online Safety

In an increasingly digital world, our online safety is more important than ever.

Due to the exponential growth of the internet, social media platforms, and the number of users on these platforms every day, the subject of online safety is also becoming more complex.

This has been a particularly pertinent issue in recent times with many of us spending a lot more time on the internet to comply with physical distancing restrictions. For some, this may mean engaging in online relationships, cyber-sex and/or sharing intimate images and videos. Along with this comes an increased chance of exposure to various forms of abuse and exposure of personal information.

Are you at risk?

While the internet provides us with an array of new and enhanced capabilities, it also brings a whole host of considerations and risks. Our networks are broadened in ways that would have been impossible without the wide reach of the internet. This means that we can encounter people who we don’t know daily, particularly on social media. More importantly, even people we know offline can prove to be untrustworthy, especially when it comes to sharing sensitive information with them.

A large number of young people use the web. Most users, particularly social media users, are in the 16-29 age group, so they are justifiably prioritised when it comes to online safety. (Source: cso.ie) However,  online safety is a crucial issue for all of us, regardless of age. With this in mind, here’s some important advice that each of us should remember when engaging in the online world:

1.       Even though it’s a virtual platform, it’s still real.

The internet-reality divide means that people can tend to hide behind a virtual ‘mask’. This tends to make people more likely to say or do things that they wouldn’t when offline.

In order to traverse the online space as safely as possible, it’s important for us to break down this barrier that we have created, and realise that most actions on the internet are simply reality in a different form.

2.       Be selfie aware.

Sexting and sending nudes are becoming increasingly mainstream. They can be enjoyable experiences and part of a healthy relationship and/or a healthy sex life, but certain safety precautions should be taken in order to prevent potential harmful consequences.

For example, intimate image abuse, is an online trend that has become increasingly common in recent years. It occurs when an individual shares or threatens to share intimate material (images or videos) of someone without their consent, as a way of causing embarrassment or disrupting aspects of the person’s life. There can be serious repercussions for the original owner of these images, such as a negative impact on the individual’s mental health, job, or relationships.

If your intimate images have been shared without your consent, you can take the following steps:

·       Ask the person to delete it.

·       Report it to the platform on which it has been posted, and request for it to be removed.

·       Screenshot the shared content for evidence.

·       Report it to the Gardai.

·       Talk to a family member, friend, and support services if you are distressed.

In order to prevent this type of abuse, you can:

·       Use appropriate privacy precautions, such as keeping your social media accounts set to private, making certain content accessible to certain people only, using strong passwords and changing them regularly.

·       Use an alias that is not associated with your full name.

3.       Don’t give personal or sensitive information (including address, phone number, explicit messages or photos) to anyone you don’t know or trust.

As we’ve mentioned, the internet is complex, and becoming even more so every day. It’s getting harder to recognise who we can and can’t trust. Avoid making your personal information visible on social media profiles, and make sure you can trust someone before sharing this information. It’s also important to remember that we each have a personal responsibility not to share private information, images, or videos of others without their consent.

4.       Know the law.

Exchanging intimate images is illegal for anyone under the age of 18. If you send images of an underage person (including yourself) that are explicit in nature, you could be charged for possession and distribution of child pornography. Also, note that in Ireland, the age of consent to engage in any sexual act is 17 years old.

The law protects people in certain situations who are not considered able to give consent, even if they have said “Yes”. Click here for examples of when a person is not able to give free and voluntary consent.

Intimate image abuse is not currently an offence under Irish law, however it is an invasion of Privacy Rights under the Irish Constitution, European Convention on Human Rights and The Charter of Fundamental Rights and civil action can ensue if the images are not removed and taken down.

5.       Consider the consequences: once you send it, it’s out of your hands.

It’s all too easy for information to spread online. You might think you’re sending a message or picture to just one person, but this could lead to your information getting passed along, intentionally or unintentionally, to any number of others.

Before you hit send, think about how you would feel if the image or message were shared.

6.       Consent is just as important online as it is ‘irl’.

Consent is a mutual, voluntary, informed, decision between clear-minded, of-age participants before any and every sexual act.

It is wrong to force someone to engage in anything, and active consent should be sought before, during, and after the sexual activity. Check in with the other person or people each time a new type of activity begins. As well as asking for verbal consent, watch their facial expressions and body language to gauge whether they are comfortable. If they seem unhappy, or if you are unsure whether they are consenting, stop engaging in the activity. Silence, or the absence of a ‘no’, does not mean that consent is given; consent is indicated by a clear, affirmative, freely-given ‘yes’. Consent can be withdrawn by any party at any stage.

As mentioned above, individuals under the age of 17 and highly intoxicated individuals cannot consent to any sexual act.

7.       Remember that what you see in pornography often isn’t an accurate reflection of reality.

Many people watch porn for sexual pleasure and/or out of curiosity. Problems can arise, however, when we conflate what we see online with real life. The internet in general has led to pervasive unrealistic expectations, and we have seen a significant example of this when it comes to pornography. This medium often neglects to convey safe practices such as condom use, consent, and communication. Photoshop and other editing tools are also used regularly, creating unattainable standards.

The necessary approach to combat these issues is two-pronged:

·       Moderating the amount of time that we spend using the internet and monitoring the content that we consume.

·       Educating people (ideally from a young age) about sex, pornography, and relationships.

If you have a young child or relative that is using the internet, supervise their usage, and implement appropriate safety precautions and parental controls. Encourage open communication and education to manage their expectations and perceptions of sex, sexuality, and relationships.

Where can I get started with educating myself?

Information on this topic can be sought from reliable sources, such as spunout.ie, hse.ie, sexualwellbeing.ie, cybersafeireland.org, revengepornhelpline.org.uk, Garda Siochana, and Women’s Aid.

Your local organisations may also be of assistance. The Sexual Health Centre is providing free online workshops regarding online safety, healthy relationships, and sexting. Call our Sexual Health Promotion Officers Barrie Deehan or Muire O’Farrell on 021 427 6676, or email  education@sexualhealthcentre.com for more information and to book.

You can also register for our Screen-age Kicks webinar series here.

Susan Walsh, our Outreach Worker, hosted an online workshop series in association with UCC Feminist Society, covering topics such as intimate image abuse, healthy relationships, and sexual health.  If you would like support or advice on any of these topics, or if you are an organisation seeking to collaborate on a project similar to this, contact Susan on 021 427 6676 or susanwalsh@sexualhealthcentre.com for more information.